Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love them

I have written several posts about this book - Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Susan Forward. I finished reading the book several weeks ago and yet it has had a profound impact on me. Though I have never been in an abusive relationship such as described in this book, the subject of abuse is still much on my mind.

The author also addresses the affect on children and how they learn to perceive their identity as female or male. When their mother is being abused their emotions are ripped apart. The author speaks of how the female is perceived as being weak and unable to protect or care for themselves. The children come to learn very early their mother is also unable to protect them.

Children learn more from what they see than from words spoken to them. Male children look to their fathers as a role model - you know what men are all about. Yet they also love their mothers but grow into manhood as abusers themselves.

The abuser’s thinking is warped, their attitudes are strong and deeply rooted within them. Even with all their apologies without help and admitting they are abusive they will only continue and get worse with time.

Often times the abuser will begin also to lash out at the children and it could become physical abuse. Children are resililent yet very fragile. The atmosphere and circumstances, their environment defines who they are as a person and pretty much what they will become when fully matured.

If respect and honor are not shown to the mother then the children have no respect for women in general. They are viewed as second class citizens, pieces of property.

We act and react often times from our subconscious perceptions. Even the abuser very rarely admits or acknowledges that he is abusive and wrong even in counseling. It is rare that they ever change and become the man the female thought they were.

Children are very important valuable little people who need to be protected from abuse. They are so vulnerable and need strong loving parents. But better to grow up without an abusive father.

This book has a wealth of information for an abused female. Keep in mind that most often when you began your relationship there were few signs of the male being abusive. But get help, get out, protect your children. So you made a mistake in choosing this man, it isn’t the end of the world. But if you do nothing and remain the victim you severely damage your children and yourself.

Don’t let fear and shame control your decisions now. Life will be good for you somewhere else. Perhaps there will be a Mr. Right in the future who will love you and respect you and care for like you really deserve.

Read the book, go to a counseler, or a crisis center and get all the support and help you truly deserve. Don’t believe the lies of the abuser. Save your children. Take one step at a time and don’t look back.

Make a new beginning. Start a new life. Mistakes can be corrected with time and perseverance. You can do it.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Georgia Russian Conflict

The Secretary of Defense has made it clear that the US will not be sending troops to Georgia. He stated for some 45 years we have avoided going to war with Russia and that we aren’t going to now. The news media has said that we are militarily stretched to thin. If that is the case then we have allowed ourselves to become very weak.

I am not a war monger but I firmly believe that when a bully starts marching, they should be stopped. Just as some of the countries are watching this conflict very closely, they know if Russia wins - gets what they want, there will be no stopping Russia from marching on them. Russia is forcing their will on a sovereign nation. That is an act war, an aggression that should not be tolerated by the international community.

Much speculation is swirling as to why most of Europe has not spoken out, but primarily it has been said because Russia provides some 40 to 60% of the energy needed. They too are dependent on a not so nice country for fuel as we are dependent on foreign oil from the Arabic world, the Middle east.

How did all these freedom-loving nations become so dependent on aggressor nations?????

Russia’s actions of invading Georgia reminds me of another madman - Adolph Hitler. When I was fairly young there was still much discussion about World War II. I remember it being said that Hitler invaded, I believe Poland was the first sovereign nation, and once that country was under his control, he just sort of waited to see what the world community did about it. They did nothing. The rest of the story was World War II. Hitler’s Germany had all of Europe and was bombing England and his troops were marching in Africa. So, will Russia keep on marching troops into other nations? Time will tell.

The media has called all this diplomacy ’A War on Words’ and has indicated that Russia knows we will do nothing and Russian soldiers have been chiding Georgian soldiers saying they have been taught to run by the US.

No one wants to go to war as the affects are quite devastating but the key is deciding when to do it or not. If it is true that we are militarily stretched too thin now then we need to do something about that. Perhaps reinstate the draft. What if some country decides, as Japan did, to launch a strike against us? Japan thought their opportunity had come as all the rest of the world was engaged in World War II so we would have no support from other countries. We cannot afford to let this country be that vulnerable.

We must remember that over all the years there have been a lot of soldiers who died to keep our freedom. As they say - freedom is not really free - the cost in lives has been pretty hefty. We are greatly indebted to them.

Bully’s must be stopped, not appeased and certainly not by looking the other way. To do nothing early on merely feeds them with more ego and provides them with a sense of great strength. And a bully is never satisfied until it conquers more and more. The bully’s main weapon is fear. Europe fears loss of energy, we fear a nuclear war, so is that what Russia is counting on?

So we have been avoiding war with Russia. But how far will she go and at what point do we step in to stop her? I have always believed that a war with Russia is inevitable. She hates the West and particularly the US. I believe we are losing a great deal of respect from other nations over this conflict. They are now seeing that we can not back them up in a crisis, that we have no real clout so why should they support us. We wooed Georgia to be a democracy, we promised support in that effort and they put their trust in us and look what we are doing for them now.

But I guess in reality it doesn’t matter what we do as we are always criticized by other nations any way, at least till they want something. Then it becomes a whole new ball game. Then we are their new best friend.

In the end it is all to the politicians and the heads of nations. Besides, they have more clout than I do. LOL I am just a very concerned citizen and do not like the possible threat of having to give up my freedom to live under a dictatorship or communist rule.

Aren’t blogs great? You really get to express your opinions. So this is my opinion for the day.

Keep smiling, We haven’t been defeated just yet.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

 

 

Queen Emily David - Why Not Me?

I continue to watch the tape I made of Queen Emily David auditioning with that powerful performance of Chain Chain. That audition for America’s Got Talent happened several weeks ago. But watching it over and over I still see, gain something each time I watch.

During that particular show, Queen Emily David said tearfully that she thought this would never happen for me, this would never happen for me, but then she said she would look in the mirror and say Why Not Me? Why Not Me? Those were very moving scenes.

Everyday each of us may have some adverse circumstances come our way or we may be already entrenched in some and it may look like it won’t ever get any better, that things will never change. After a long time we can lose all hope or even bury our thoughts and dreams within us so deep we almost forget that we had them.

Today I was pondering some of what I really want to happen in my life. Oh nothing as dramatic as Emily’s dream to sing, but every bit as important to me as Queen Emily’s dream was for her. My desires seem just as much out of reach as Emily’s desires for herself seemed at times.

Yet throughout the day I kept hearing the words, Why Not Me!! Why Not Me!!! My dream is no more impossible than Queen Emily’s. And you know it is the same for us all. Having our dreams fulfilled is just as possible. We just can’t give up, can’t quit but always it is our job to keep hope alive.

If her interviews as shown on that one night are any indication of who she is, then she is one incredible woman. A woman not without faults or one who has never made mistakes - for we all have faults and at one time or another we have made maybe a lot of mistakes - but these do not define us. She is one woman I would love to meet in person. I would like to sit down with her and just talk. I feel confident I would come away from that meeting a better person. Perhaps that might really happen, I don’t know, but it would surely be great if it did.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Avoiding Future Debt

With today’s economic uncertainities everyone seems to be scrambling as to how to survive. Right now there doesn’t seem to be much light at the end of the tunnel. News forecasters are not shedding much light either as to when everything might turn aound.

Now with the disturbance in Georgia with Russia we now have more global trouble. Depending how quickly this is resolved and our ultimate involvement we could possibly see costs contiue to rise once more. Globally we are so connected that whatever happens in the world it will have an affect on us for good or bad.

I wrote an article on How To Avoid Debt that might be well worth your reading. You might find some information that will be helpful in your personal financail planning. With all the media coverage of the presidential elections and the olympics, not a whole lot is being reported on our economic crisis. I did look at the market and I see that crude oil is up today. Did this eruption in Georgia have something to do with the spike? Maybe. Only time will tell if it will continue to rise once more.

Meanwhile we must take care of our finances and do the best we can.

Keep smiling. The Sun can always shine within us.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Men Who Hate Women and The women Who Love Them

I did finish the book Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Susan Forward, PH.D. It ended with a sort of a follow up report on the couples focussed on throughout the book. These women eventually removed themselves from their destructive relationships and had begun building new lives.

What was most interesting was that their fears were not realized but quite the opposite. I am not saying it was accomplished without a struggle and hard work but they had the determination to want something better. Self identity was regained, also they liked themselves once more. Most of all there was peace, peace of mind, peace in their environments instead of strife, fear and continual confrontations.

Much of society view battered women, whether physically or emotionally abused, as women who are weak and want to be mistreated and abused, otherwise why would they stay. I myself have had difficulty in this area. But as the author writes in every step of the book one can see that it is much more complicated than meets the eye. However the situation is not hopeless for any women but it does take some decision making on the part of the women.

Though I have not ever been in the kinds of relationships portrayed in the book, I certainly am very much aware of all the danger signals that are described in this book. Preventive is just as important as doing something to get out of bad relationships.

We each have an uniqueness about us and there is so much opportunity to be in a circle of friends that bring out the best in all of us. We are valuable though maybe not famous. We each have something good to give and share. What a waste to remain in a bad relationship that just destroys you.

I hope all that have found themselves in bad relationships will muster up the courage to take that first step and do something about it for themselves. We can’t change how others act or talk or treat us but we do not have to remain their victim. I believe all of us have the inner strength to be an overcomer but perhaps one who is in a bad relationship has to look a little harder to find it, but that’s okay because it really is there. You will find happiness and peace and you will then begin to like your life.

I have written several times as I have been reading this book so you might want to read them as well. There was so much in the book that writing over a period of time seemed to work better, otherwise I would be writing a book about the book. LOL

Women of all ages should take the time to read this book. After reading it for yourself let me know how it has encouraged and helped you, send a comment. Need an internet friend? Send a comment because I really do care about hurting people.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

The Energy Plans

Presidential hopeful McCain is really pushing for Congress to return to session to work on the proposed bill for drilling oil offshore. This is being resisted by the Speaker of the House among others.

It sounds like a reasonable solution to our “oil additction” as the media calls it. I do not believe it should be the only proposal on the table. First of all it is a long term solution, not a short term one. It will take years to drill and what about a platform necessary to to take care of the oil drilled. What about refineries - it takes about 10 years to build a new one to handle this new flow. One might say we would not need a new refinery because the new oil will take its place instead of imported oil. Yet we must remember our need for oil and all of it’s by products is only increasing.

Senator John McCain needs more to his energy plan than offshore drilling.

T. Boone Pickens has been telling of his plans to help our energy struggle and dependence on foreign oil. Even his plan will help in 5 to 7 years. I think his plans are noteworthy but the cost is also high. I do believe we should reduce in any way we can our need for foreign oil though.

Alternative energy - bottom line - is going to cost plenty which with its use will still be costly to us as well. So doubtful we will see any huge price reductions no matter what solutions are implemented. Yet it will be worth it because we should not be so needy with oil producing areas in nations that do not share our political beliefs.

“Oil Addiction” - the use of this term is not accurate. Gas for our vehicles is not an addiction - it is a necessity to get around in this country. Most of the northeast heats their home with heating oil which comes from crude oil. I hardly call that an addiction. Diesel fuel is not an addiction for our 18 wheelers that transport goods all across this country - it is an absolute necessity. This list could go on and on.

We have seen the price of crude oil come down several weeks in a row now which is very good for us as consumers. The crisis now in Georgia with Russia could certainly be the catalyst to start oil prices to rise again. We will just have to wait and see.

It is so sad that this country did not address energy issues years ago. But the price of crude oil was so very low and alternative solutions still costly, so we did nothing. Regardless of plans it is still going to be an economic drain on all of us. Generally once prices for food, for an example, go up, they do not come down and if they do it won’t be even close to the prices we paid a couple of years ago.

The American people ae still going to be struggling in their personal finances. Even the analysts are still expecting another 20% increase in foreclosures and housing values will also to continue decreasing for a while longer. How much longer no one is really saying. In essence we have not reached the bottom yet.

Many I talk with are very concerned for the elderly this winter with the high price in heating oil. But Americans of all ages are in a financial crisis in varying degrees. Our excessive credit card debt isn’t helping either. There are no real answers as to how any of us will resolve this issue. Jobs are not plentiful right now and many are already working 2 jobs.

It is important in this critical time to really be on top of our spending. I have an article published on Helium “How to Avoid Debt” which you might want to read. I will provide the link below. Reducing our spending in any area will be a help. I would imagine bankrupticies will begin to increase as we try to salvage our economic lives. I don’t how difficult that might be in view of the recently revised laws.

Americans are resilient and I know we will be very creative and we will make it. We will survive. So don’t worry because when you worry your ability to think reasonably and logically is severely impaired. We will be diligent to do all we can do.

So keep smiling, it is a beautiful Sunny Day.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Queen Emily David

Well Queen Emily is probably very nervous, perhaps even tense with the up and coming semi-finals. I know I would be. I don’t know if in the next segement they will be performing in front of a live audience or not but Queen Emily has no problem with that.

Perhaps selecting a song won’t be difficult for her either. I can hardly wait to hear what she selects. I certainly am going to do my best to follow her new career regardless of the outcome on America’s Got Talent. Surely she will be picked by a Record Company or in Las Vegas for shows. No matter, her life will surely change and be quite different than the one she knows all too well.

She just seems to me to be one of the beautiful people. I wish her all the best.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them

Well I am almost finished reading the book - Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them by Susan Forward, Ph.D. From her book one can recognize how powerful the emotions are for both the abuser and the abused. They have a tendency to override reason, logic and good judgment. The interaction between the two is destructive for both parties.

A very important section I spent a good deal of time thinking about was how to select a therapist or counseler. Wow, unbelieveable that some of them adhere to very old wrong assessments of women - such as that the woman is to blame. The author goes into great detail to describe how you should choose one that will address the female’s needs. I believe this section is quite valuable. A must read for anyone who decides not to go it alone and is seeking help.

In most cases the male abuser will not seek counseling or in an effort to appease their mate they will attend a few sessions but ultimately blame the female for everything that is wrong. So, they generally do not profit from the sessions.

Another area covered is all that should be considered if the female decides to leave the relationship permanently. The author addresses fears unique to each situation - such as a women with children and those without. She helps them through the planning stages and guides them out of fears into positive thinking even if it will not be easy.

The entire process is not an easy one. When a women is beaten down and has such negative feelings about herself, it takes a great deal of courage to begin the path of healing and wholeness. An old saying says one needs to pick themselves up by their boot staps and do something. No doubt when a woman is that far into a pit, the climb out is the most difficult path to take and one will experience setbacks but it will be worth it.

Always the unknown seems to be the most fearful but confronting those fears as just that and recognizing they are not truth is very liberating. Fear is only the contemplation of what might happen and only in the negative. Fear blocks the mind from thinking about the good and great things that are possible.

Do not let fear continue to control you. It has done a great deal of damage already. Don’t let it continue to be the defining factor of your life.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Queen Emily David - An Inspiration

The producers or whoever makes the decisions about the show certainly attempted in every way to make their TV viewing audience consider that Emily David - Queen Emily David - might be eliminated from the show - America’s Got Talent.

As I watched Emily David ever so patiently waiting to hear the judges decision not a hint was given by her as to what that decision would be. She hoped most definitely but she was only reflecting the humilty that is so ingrained in her character.

Queen Emily David is a real inspiration to me and I am sure to many others. My prayer is that when she reaches the heights of stardom that she will not forget her humble beginnings and go ‘mad’ like so many stars before her. I hope she forever remains grateful and thankful and does not become arrogant and cruel. Fame and fortune have the real potential to turn us into monsters.

Stay true to yourself Queen Emily David and you will be truly a Queen!!!!

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.

Book- Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them Part 3

The first two writings were about women in abusive relationships. I have gleaned so much from this book- Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by susan Forward, Ph.D. I plan to finish reading the remaining pages by the weekend.

I have so wanted to encourage women to seek help and to not stay in these unhealthy relationships, especially the ones where there is physical abuse. But what about the male abuser?

The author addresses many of his deeply ingrained issues and how they view women. The author talks of their deep rooted fears. These men need a lot of help and someone to redirect their thoughts and attitudes and perceptions about women. Counseling is probably the only way male abusers can get help and definitely they should be refraining from any relationships with women until they do work through all of their anger.

The male abuser is as emotionally sick as the women they abuse. Their anger makes them dangerous and they are just as much driven by their fears as their anger. If you are a male abuser get help - stop hurting those you care about.

Unfortunately most abusers never recognize they are abusive and even though there may be moments of remorse it is only short lived and they soon revert back to their old habits. And maybe even worse because they see they had a weak moment when they actually felt sorry for what they have done. Yet this seems to make the abuser even angrier.

This book has a wealth of information in it for the abuser and the abused. It would be good for all men to read as well. It is an excellent tool for men of all ages that would help them to look inside their being and see if any issues are lurking there. It would definitely help in being in a healthy relationship.

A healthy loving relationship is all we really want- both men and women desire it with all their hearts. But somehow we get off on the wrong track. Do yourself a terrific favor and read the book. It is that good.

Jm

You may also visit helium.com/users446975 to read other articles I have published on various topics.